I’ve never received a thank-you note: A lupus patient's advice

Christine Miserandino has learned a thing or two from her frequent doctor's appointments for lupus. She writes about her illness on her web site, and says that before each appointment, she fills out three index cards: one with any new problems she needs to tell her doctor about, one describing her current symptoms, and a third with specific questions for the doctor.

She says this gets her better care. "My doctor is busy, and I have to respect that he has 40 patients in one day," she says. "If I don't go in with all my questions written down, I'd be rambling all over the place."

Doctors often schedule appointments in 15-minute increments. Sometimes you'll need much more than that. Christine says she always warns the appointment secretary when she'll need extra time, and asks whether a certain time of day (such as the last appointment) would be better.

Christine says she doesn't shy away from asking tough questions -- on the contrary, she asks lots of them and sometimes questions her doctor's recommendations -- but she always does it politely. Plus, she fosters a relationship with her doctor because she knows that to a great extent, her health depends on him.

"I do care, because I want him to care about me. I do bring cookies at Christmastime. It's a relationship you have to foster like any other."

Once, when her doctor went above and beyond what he had to do by visiting her in the hospital twice in one day, she wrote him a thank-you note. "He said to me, 'In the 20-odd years I've been doing this, I've never received a thank-you note. I always hear the negative, never the positive.'"

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Thanks to Elizabeth Cohen and Jennifer Pifer for the source story via CNN.