As if they were old friends: Compassionate physicians' cancer care

Four years ago, my sister found out she had two types of cancer at the same time. It was like being hit by lightning twice.

She needed chemotherapy and radiation, a huge operation, more chemotherapy and then a smaller operation. All on all, the treatment took about a year. Thin to begin with, she lost 30 pounds. The chemo caused cracks in her fingers, dry eyes, anemia and mouth sores so painful they kept her awake at night. A lot of her hair fell out. The radiation burned her skin. Bony, red-eyed, weak and frightfully pale, she tied scarves on her head, plastered her fingers with Band-Aids and somehow toughed it out.

She saw two doctors quite often. The radiation oncologist would sling her arm around my sister's frail shoulders and walk her down the corridor as if they were old friends. The medical oncologist kept a close watch on the side effects, suggested remedies, reminded my sister she had good odds of beating the cancer and reassured her that the hair would grow back. (It did.)

People in my family aren’t huggy-kissy types, but my sister greatly appreciated the warmth and concern of those two women. She trusted them completely, and their advice. Now healthy, she says their compassion played a big part in helping her get through a difficult and frightening time.

Bedside manner can go a long way toward helping people with cancer understand their treatment, stick with it, cope better and maybe even fare better medically.

Advice: Find a doctor whose skill set includes compassion.

Browse for related stories in the index at the very bottom of this page, or read a story on the role of compassion in healing.

Thanks to Denise Grady for the source story in the NY Times of Jan. 8.