A heaven of hell: The focused life

Winifred Gallagher's story:
Attention is selection: It's either this or it’s that.

During my cancer treatment several years ago, I managed to remain relatively cheerful by keeping in mind William James' comment, "My experience is what I agree to attend to." And this line from Milton: "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."

People don't understand that attention is a finite resource, like money. Do you want to invest your cognitive cash on endless Twittering or Net surfing or couch potatoing? You're constantly making choices, and your choices determine your experience, just as William James said.

You can lead a miserable life by obsessing on problems. You can drive yourself crazy trying to multitask and answer every email instantly.

When I woke up in the morning [several years ago], I'd ask myself, Do you want to lie here paying attention to the very good chance you'll die and leave your children motherless, or do you want to get up and wash your face and pay attention to your work and your family and your friends? Hell or heaven – it's your choice.


Winifred's book, Rapt, is a guide to the science of paying attention. This post was synthesized from excerpts of her book, as reported by John Tierney in today's New York Times.

Read another story about the surprising effects of removing distractions.

Thanks to Winifred Gallagher, and John Tierney for the source article.

I recharged my purpose batteries: Purpose and long life

For 77 years, Marge Jetton, a nurse, had identified herself proudly as a doctor's wife, and found meaning in the work she did to support her husband. Their partnership was magical, she says, but ended abruptly when he died suddenly.

She grieved for months, and then she regrouped. She began volunteering again at her church, worked as a fundraiser for a gospel radio program, and delivered used magazines to elderly hospital patients. "I realized the world wasn't going to come to me, so I went back out into the world," she says. "I reconnected with old friends and felt satisfaction from helping the community. I guess you could say that I recharged my purpose batteries."

That was five years ago. Today, at age 104, she says she owes her can-do vitality to her religious faith and her fervent belief that as long as she's around, she can make a difference.

Advice to widows: You can live fully, and productively, even after your long love has passed away. As Dan Buettner says, Add years to your life by adding life to your years.

Read a very different story of finding a new purpose in life.

Thanks to Dan Buettner for the source story in the November/December issue of AARP magazine.

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