Allison Kugel’s story: After the worst anxiety of my life

The turning point came after the worst anxiety of my life, oddly enough.  It’s hard to say what’s genetic and what's environmental, but I’m inclined to think it’s genetic, as my mother had agoraphobia, like me.  I lived with OCD [obsessive-compulsive disorder] since age eight or nine, and there was always an incident here or there, like a panic attack with friends around, which was embarrassing.  I resigned myself to it.

In 2012 a lot things happened at once.  My job as a syndicated entertainment journalist was very important to me:  it was exciting, and a creative outlet.  But it came to an end, and I had to resign.  At the same time my marriage had fallen apart, and my father and grandmother had gotten ill.  It was a perfect storm!  My anxiety became the worst in my life; I couldn’t function.  I had five or six panic attacks a day, and wound up in the E.R. several times in a short period of time.

I was put on Klonopin to calm down my body and mind.  In that extreme couple of months, I’m not sure what happened inside of me to make it a turning point:  finding the right medication, going to a psychologist who specialized in panic attacks and phobias, reading a lot, delving into the research a lot.  I started spinning in the opposite direction.

Especially when I turned 40, I said, the first half of the ride is over; if you’re lucky, you get 80 good years.  I didn’t want the second half to be like this.   I got my medication re-adjusted, and got into meditation, prayer, spirituality….  And horseback riding--I wanted something symbolic of something I’d never done before.  In the past, I would’ve steered clear of that.

I decided to start taking some reasonable risks, getting more flavor out of life.  I learned to boogey board in the ocean with my son, and do some things against type, which were very freeing!  Writing this book helped me heal quite a bit.  I cherry-picked some stories to explain this journey, and weave in and out some of the fun celebrity stuff. 

When you write a book about your life, it’s like a 3-D hologram, watching a movie of my life.  It’s tricky:  I’m the observer!  It was extremely therapeutic—it enabled me to go back and revisit some moments of my life, which was very cathartic!  It enabled me to find a much deeper perspective, and gave me an answer to the age-old question when we feel we’ve been dealt a bad card:  Why me?!  This answered that question, which was huge, and very empowering!  

Allison’s advice:  If you’re going through hell, keep going!  You don’t get there by standing still.  You have to put one foot in front of the other, and seek help.  Ask for help and advice.  I put myself in the hands of professionals who were helping me.

Ken’s Advice: Read her book, Journaling Fame: A Memoir of a Life Unhinged and on the Record.

Read a story of a hard-won recovery.  Thanks to Jaime Katz of Full Scale Media for arranging the interview with Allison.

Adverse effects of an anti-depressant: A complete 180 degrees

The story of Peter Andrew Sacco, PhD:
I had a client I was seeing a couple of years ago who came to me after seeing a psychiatrist. The individual was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, depression as well as aspects of personality disorders which included borderline personality disorder as well as dependent personality disorder. This client had been referred to me from a colleague/friend knowing I am a cognitive behavioural psychotherapist who also specializes in relationships, addictions, anger management and stress management. By the time I saw this client, they were in a suicidal state.

After doing a case history, I could not believe what I had witnessed. The client who was in their late 30's had no history of chronic or clinical depression and no history of personality disorders. Rating them based on global functioning and changes, I looked to major life events or changes in the last 6-12 months. Lo and behold, they had recently gone through a relationship break-up (not their choice), a recent career change (actually a better one, but one that was extremely stressful and they were learning on the job training) and some other familial upheavals. They never had a history of chronic depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or violence of any sorts.

When I inquired as to when the depression and suicidal tendencies, as well as intense OCD and anxiety reached their highest levels, the answer was two weeks before coming to see me. They had been to see the psychiatrist who put them on anti-depressants, which they should not have been on for situational depression/grief, and these meds had provoked not only greater episodes of depression, but psychotic thoughts as well. The client (the responsibility falls on them for this aspect) was consuming alcohol while on the wrongfully prescribed meds. Upon getting off the meds, engaging in cognitive behavioural counselling (CBT) and stopping their consumption of alcohol, his mood state did a complete 180 degrees!

Peter Andrew Sacco, Ph.D., is a psychology professor and author of Sweet Acceptance Vs Bitter Resistance. You can email him at psacco1@cogeco.ca.

For professional patient advocacy stories in mental health, see Chapter 6 of Ken Farbstein's book, Getting Your Best Health Care: Real-World Stories for Patient Empowerment. Thanks to Monica Foster and Nicola Williams of Ascot Media Group for setting this up.

Why there's a market for these drugs: Obsessive-compulsive disorder

From James Vlahos' article about the pet owners' use of mood-altering drugs for their pets:

At the end of the day, Dr. Nicholas Dodman, leaning back in his chair, launched into a story about a human obsessive-compulsive-disorder sufferer he had met – a man who repeatedly tugged at his beard. Dr. Dodman asked him if he had ever stopped, and the man said he did during a hitchhiking trip across Canada. Dodman thought he knew why: "He went back to being a human being. He was watching out for real dangers. He was trying to go real places. He was concerned about his next meal. He was thinking about where he was going to sleep. And he wasn't concerned about the stupid beard-pulling, because now he had a real life. When did the problem start again? The minute he sat back in front of a flickering computer screen."

His theory, essentially, is that the causes of mood disorders and obsessions in humans and our pets aren't so different – faulty genetics, dreary environments. Whether cubicle- or cage-bound, we get too little exercise; we don't hunt, run or play enough to produce naturally mood-elevating neurochemicals. Strangely enough, I had already heard this theory – from a pharmaceutical company executive who, for obvious business reasons, didn't want to be named. "All of the behavioral issues that we have created in ourselves, we are now creating in our pets because they live in the same unhealthy environments that we do. That’s why there's a market for these drugs."

Advice: Being in natural surroundings can help people heal.

Thanks to James Vlahos for the source article in the New York Times Magazine of July 13.