To complete the miscarriage at home: A lack of discharge instructions

Rene's story:
Years ago I was diagnosed by more than one fertility specialist as being infertile because I had only one fallopian tube that was totally blocked. I lost my other fallopian tube in 1990 when I had a tubal pregnancy. To add to the odds stacking up against us, my husband Arthur had a low sperm count. We were told our only alternative was in vitro fertilization (IVF) which was not affordable. Unfortunately most insurance companies don't pay for this procedure, so we didn't worry about it. God had blessed me with two daughters before I got married that Arthur legally adopted at a young age. Our daughters were all grown up and out of the house. We were living life to the fullest without the responsibility of being tied down to children, when suddenly after seventeen years of marriage and not using a contraceptive I became pregnant with our son, who was conceived on February 15, 2008, just one day after our seventeen year wedding anniversary. What an anniversary gift! The doctors still can't explain how we conceived our love baby.

I had prenatal care early in the pregnancy. Then in my second trimester, my water bag broke, and I went to the hospital here in Louisiana. I was sent home to complete my miscarriage with no discharge instructions. I was told I would be going home to pass tissue the size of a bar of soap. We left the E.R. at 5 am, on Arthur's birthday, and delivered our son at home 45 minutes later in the toilet. Arthur grabbed baby Trey who was still alive, breathing and gasping for air. Within minutes Trey stopped breathing and went limp in Arthur's hands. Our love baby was gone, we would have never left the E.R. if we were told it was a possibility our baby would be still alive.

It was a nightmare! They hadn't told me that could happen. There's no way they can make me believe that was normal. But that's what they said at the medical review panel, and that it was not preventable.

At the deposition, the E.R. doctor had tears in his eyes, and said, "I didn't realize this would happen," even though his lawyer was trying to tell him to shut up. But my Ob Gyn doctor could care less! She just sat there, twirling the ice in her glass, looking at me with such bitterness. If she'd said, "Rene, I'm sorry, I made a mistake," it would be different. But to pretend that I'm the one who has a problem, really irritated me. I went to this doctor because I trusted her, she was the best. She said she would take care of me and she didn't. There should be a law to prevent hospitals from discharging people without instructions when they most need them!

Rene's Advice: All week long my body was telling me something. Everybody knows their own body. If something's not right, it's not right. If you feel uncomfortable about a procedure, ask questions. Realize that the doctor is a man and not God, and ask questions about what they're doing, and why. If your body is giving you warning signs, if the doctor can't see you, get a second opinion.

Thanks to Rene McCoy for sharing her story.

Read another story on a premature birth.