I've done a lot: A prostate cancer patient's choice

Thirty years ago Forbes Hill of Brooklyn learned he had prostate cancer. At age 50, with a young wife and a fear of the common side effects of treatment—incontinence and impotence---he chose what oncologists call "watchful waiting." For 12 years, Forbes was fine. Then in 1990 his PSA count, a measure of cancer activity, began to rise, and he had radiation therapy. That dropped the count to near zero. In 2000, with the count up again, he chose hormone therapy, which worked for a while.

Three years ago, with his PSA level going through the roof, he learned that the cancer had spread to his bones and liver. It was time for chemotherapy, which Forbes said he knew could not cure him but might slow the cancer's progress and prolong his life.

His oncologist was candid but not very specific. His doctor told him that with advanced metastatic hormone-resistant like his, 90 percent of patients die within five years no matter what the doctors do, and about 10 percent survive six or more years.

"I took that kind of hard," said Forbes, an associate professor of media studies at Queens College. "I always thought I would live to 90, but I guess now I won't."

He just started radiation to the brain, perhaps with infusions of an experimental drug afterward. "I'll try chemo for six months, but if it gets too uncomfortable and inconvenient….,” he said, trailing off. "Having lived 80 years, I've done a lot. I don't have a reason to think I've been badly treated by life."

Forbes seems ready for a time when treating his cancer is no longer the right approach, replaced instead by a focus on preparing for the end of his life.

But doctors who have studied patients like Forbes say that often they do not know when to say enough is enough. In a desperate effort to live a month, a week, even a day longer, they choose to continue costly, toxic treatments and deny themselves and their families the comfort care that hospice can provide.

Advice: Make your own choice. Live life on your own terms.

Read another story about a cancer patient’s attitudes toward the illness.

Thanks to Jane Brody for the source article in the Aug. 18 issue of the New York Times.