Grateful every day vs. prolonging my dying: Two views of kidney dialysis

Ruth Silverman's letter:
My husband, a retired neonatologist involved in ethical issues in medicine, suffered acute renal failure at 87. He was hospitalized briefly and underwent several dialysis treatments during this time.

His urologists (three of them) told him that they were arranging dialysis for him three times a week upon discharge from the hospital. He confronted them with these words:

"I am 87 years old. It is a waste of the resources of this nation to provide me with dialysis three times a week. You will not be prolonging my life. You will be prolonging my dying. That is not the quality of life I choose."

My husband had executed an advance medical directive several years earlier in which renal dialysis had been specifically excluded, so this was not a hasty decision. He returned to our home and his own bed.

Our three adult children joined us, and my husband received wonderful, competent and tender care, made possible by our local hospice. He assured us that he had no regrets about his decision and died peacefully and pain-free two weeks later.

Philip Stopol's letter:
As an 87-year old undergoing my fifth year of dialysis, I am grateful every day for the opportunity to benefit from the results of this treatment. My goal has always been to lead a satisfying and productive life.

For 23 years, I have been enrolled in the Hofstra University PEIR group (Professionals and Executives in Retirement), in which I both attend and teach classes.

Weather permitting, I occasionally play either 9 or 18 holes of golf.

I frequently drive to Manhattan to enjoy a museum or Broadway show.

I refuse to accept dialysis treatment as a death sentence because I have proved that it is not.

Read a story about informed medical decision-making. Thanks to the New York Times editor, who published these letters in today's issue.